Being the compulsive person that I am, as well as a food addict, I had it in my head to have some BBQ wings this weekend. Now, when you are a compulsive eater, these kind of thoughts don’t just go away—they consume you! I couldn’t stop obsessing about this craving, even asking my therapist for advice. It didn’t help that the TV ads were all about game day and what food is great for the game??? Wings! I even prayed to get the thought out of my head…
Anyways, I made a plan to have 1 portion of wings, and buy an individual dressing packet instead of a bottle since I could realistically use up the whole bottle of blue cheese on just a few wings! I followed through with my plan–mostly. I had 2 more wings than intended, and a bag of chips, but still, not bad–could have been much worse!
So, I ate my wings–did I enjoy them? Somewhat, yes, but it was more that my mind stopped thinking about them once I started eating them. That’s where the true enjoyment lies–when my mind stills itself. However, early in the morning/late at night (depending on your perspective), I started feeling very unwell—not going to be detailed here, but you have 2 ways food can come back out, you know??? Interestingly enough, there was a reading in the AA book about cravings being like allergies. I totally get it now! It was seriously like I was allergic to those wings and my body was training to rid itself of them!
Thanks, higher power, for this lesson! May I remember it the next time I obsess over this particular food!